Feelings

Sometimes I like to be quiet, and just enjoy the feeling that I don't have to talk. Yet whenever this happens, whoever I'm with gets super parnoid that I'm depressed or something. Can't I just like to be quiet? I don't get what's wrong with that...
But tonight my mum got ultra freaked and wanted me to talk about my feelings. LOLZ
I don't talk that much about my feelings, and all my friends have picked up on this so don't bother stressing over it. My mum on the other hand wants to know everything about me, which is cool. She's showing an interest. But I don't always see the point in talking about your emotions or feelings. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. For the most part with me, it doesn't, therefore I don't.
(Is this all just going in circles?)
ANYWAYS...my mum thought I was being particularly quiet tonight, which I guess I was, but not conciously. Her conclusion was that I'm worried about Uni, which I guess to some extent is true.

Ok...to quite a big extent.

I'm not enjoying it AT ALL. And I go back on Thursday. See, the thing is, I enjoy my course, it's very interesting and I am learning stuff. But I applied for the wrong reasons. At the end of school, the only real option our careers advisor gave us was "APPLY FOR UNI!". And if you didn't they sorta just stopped caring. All my friends are very smart, and have always passed exams easily. I on the other hand have only ever scraped some low passes out of them. So I sent one uni application out thinking that I wouldn't get in but its all ok because I had applied.
I did get in though.
And it sucks. I don't get on with a lot of people there, even if I do, I'm so depressed all the time that I can't face going out with them so then I'm just spending more and more time on my own. The most frustrating part is when I come home and see other friends back from uni, all of whom ADORE it and actually miss it. I feel like a noob when I'm like, "Well, actually no, I'm not missing it, I'm dreading even the thought of going back." But I can't do anything about it, thats why I don't talk about it. I can't drop out...my mum would have a fit. She was so happy when I got accepted, PLUS I'd lose her money from the Halls I'm staying in etc.

AAAAAAAAAAAAACHH!! Why did people build Uni up so much for me? It's like a living nightmare and I don't want to go back there.
Ever.
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